Neglect....

Hello...
So I realise I am a bad blogger....have just started and am already neglecting my blog and have not added anything for a couple of weeks. Truth of the matter is I have not been feeling too hot (virus apparently) and have been neglecting a lot of things. So my new resolution (who needs new year?) is to keep up with the updates.

Last couple of weeks have been pretty uneventful I think. I did go to my cooking workshop and learn how to make sweet and sour, spicy tofu and dumplings. I have since repeated the sweet and sour at home and amazingly it was a success...go moss!!! Maybe my calling in life was to cook chinese food??? I also went to see Alice in Wonderland. No surprises with the story but the film was fabulous...3D is amazing and Johnny Depp...well who couldn't think he is a superb actor!!! The chinese were quite well behaved...they weren't as talkative as normal...they only have to read subtitles and not listen!

So last weekend was a public holiday here too...obviously not easter (although I still managed to eat my body weight in chocolate) but it was tomb sweeping day. Tomb sweeping day does exactly what it says on the tin...people visit graves, pay respects to their dead loved ones and er sweep the tombs. All I know is that it meant Dave had a 3 day weekend which was great.

One place I have neglected to tell you all about so far on my blog is the fabric market here. Probably because I have not been for yonks but I went this week to get some clothes made for my holidays. For all us fat birds in shanghai (i.e. anyone above a size 10) this place is a mecca. Its 3 floors of every kind of material possible, designs hanging up and tailors. So basically you go in and pick something they have hanging up, take them a picture or give them something to copy and within a week you will have the handmade garment hanging in your wardrobe...just bloody brilliant!!!!! And at much cheaper price that in the UK...although cashmere coats are still the real bargains here!!! It can be a very hit and miss place...some of the tailors are crap..they have no concept of big bottoms and big stomachs...they have a bit of an issue with boobs, and they laugh at your size sometimes (go with it, they are not being mean, the just think its funny and they don't know any other word other than fat). Anyway if you find a decent tailor this place is a gem. I had my bridesmaid dress made there for my sisters wedding and it was fab!!!

Today I am at home waiting for some furniture to be delivered...again hand made furniture is a bargain and bit by bit we are stocking up ready for our eventual return to the uk!!!

I talk about how great life is here and it is but, and most of my pals here would agree with me, one of the hardest things of course about living here is missing out on so much back in the UK and I miss my family and friends terribly and think about them every day. Thank god for texting and skype!!! I struggle sometimes feeling incredibly guilty for not being in the UK more than I am...I would love to be home more. At the moment it averages twice a year but the fact of the matter is I can't...physically the flights knacker me and I always get ill and secondly the cost is getting more and more from shanghai to london...it used to be really cheap but not so much now. Don't get me wrong. I love my life here but its hard sometimes. Word of advice to anyone thinking in being an expat....try and do it with someone who works for an airline :)))))

Feeling wrecked after HK...

Ok so I have just spent 2 nights in Hong Kong this weekend catching up with a friend who I had not seen in a whole year. She was over for the rugby sevens. We had a fabulous time. HK is an amazing place, although some of the people who live there are complete wankers and imagine London but in china...thats HK for you. We did lots of drinking, eating and shopping. The HK rugby sevens is just a mental weekend to be in HK. A group of us went last year and it was such a laugh. This year I never had tickets for the rugby but just being in the bars on Thursday and Friday night was amazing...they were packed and everyone was in good spirits and having a great laugh. I was sad to leave my pal but happy to come home to Dave and my sofa as quite frankly I was knackered...can't hack it like I used to...The shopping was great..I came back laden with goodies including teacakes which we can't get here...but my god its expensive!!!!

So back in china now. Not really sure what my week holds for me. A birthday celebration tomorrow and maybe a cooking workshop on Thursday. Plus possibly a trip to the cinema to see Alice in Wonderland. I try not to go to the cinema too often here as its not always a pleasant experience. As most of the international films have chinese subtitles, they don't have to listen, only read. So needless to say they never shut up talking and mobile phones go off regularly and they have a bad habit of bringing in buckets of KFC. But what can you do other than tell them to 'shut the f*** up', which I have been know to do!

A lovely thing happened last week. I was off to get my hair cut. My hairdresser is about a 30-40 min taxi ride away. It was totally pissing it down and was 9am...the two combined don't make it easy to get a cab. After about 20 mins of waiting a cab pulled up and someone got out. I went to get in the back and noticed another passenger in there. To cut a long story short the guy offered to take me where I wanted to go but only if I didn't mind his wife being in the back with me. Fine I said. Well it was hilarious. Firstly she never spoke any english and he did a little...he kept calling me his english teacher. Second he drove like a learner and could hardly see over the steering wheel. Third, she got photos of her daughter out and started showing them to me...I reciprocated and showed her some photos of my family on the my phone. Then lastly I chatted to her about work...she said she had to be at work in ten minutes time but her work was 30 mins in the other direction. Her husband said she had told him to take me to where I wanted to go as she could not leave a foreigner stranded in the rain waiting for a taxi. Bless them!!!! Of course they got a tip but they were so sweet!!

Sightings.....

Two sightings to report.

1) on my way to the pub on saturday night a young man, in the small barbers, puffing on a fag with rollers in the top of his hair.......
2) My first chinese transvestite on my way to the supermarket today...he wasn't a very good one!!!

I may have spotted more on sat night but was a tad tipsy.....

Injury and lack of fashion sense

Its saturday, foggy (or is it pollution? I can never tell sometimes) and I have a sore back. I think I have pulled a muscle in my upper back..not sure..all I know is its bloody painful. Although two nurofen and some vinos later may help me. I am blaming it on the fact I actually spent about 30 mins the other day preparing spring rolls...yes a real shock to everyone who knows that my cooking extends to the freezer and opening tins. Anyway, it wasn't the actual task of cooking but the fact that kitchens here tend to be designed for small people so the benches are not exactly at an ideal height for us westerners. So if you have back problems anyway they don't exactly help. This is a tad wierd as my landlady is german, so you kinda think she would have put in decent sized work benches. Or maybe she never cooked too while she was living here.

Anyway I woke up yesterday in agony so thought it seemed like a good excuse for a back massage. So off I went. Now one thing about some chinese girls is their lack of fashion sense. They buy the clothes from all the right places...H and M, Zara, Uniqlo etc but they have a certain habit of wearing lots of different fashions all at the same time so never quite look right. Don't get me wrong...I am certainly no fashion icon, but its quite amusing to see what they wear sometimes. They also seem to like permed hair circa 1983. So there I am on my way to my massage when I see a girl in front of me. She was wearing white knee high patent leather boots, 15 denier tights, short shorts with a bad muffin top (Unusual in asian girls), the bad perm and she was carrying a small white poodle with two red and white spotted bows in its hair. Well, she looked a vision and I wish I had had my camera. Although when she shouted the dog she nearly burst my ear drums.

So i got to the massage place and had my massage which doesn't seem to have worked, but was nice anywhere. I especially like the fact here that your back includes your bottom so you have a good old butt cheek massage too...especially fun if you have a large derriere.

Back to today...no real plans. Yet again another sporting saturday so yet again another late night. The rugby doesn't start here until 1am so you can imagine the state of the boys by the time they get home. Am glad we never went out last night.

Thursday lunch...

So it's Thursday and have just had a nice, long lunch with the girls. A group of 9 of us meet every thursday for lunch and a long gossip..its great fun and keeps us all sane. Todays choice was a new mediteranean spot which was lovely. And out choice of conversation included washing machines for dogs..google it. Just what I needed after having a few pints last night for Paddys day. Went to an 'american' bar which on a weekend is full of hookers and pervy old men. These hookers,, on occassion have been known to move us out of the way so they can hit on our other halves...I really don't thinks so ladies. Anyway it was a wierd night...pub was packed...guiness and kilkenny on special offer. There was the promise of Irish music (I heard the band play two U2 songs). And the band playing were pretty average although, we used to frequent this bar alot and thought the band were AMAZING! There is a lot to be said for the effect that martinis have on your ears.

So yet again when I was out and about yesterday I saw another lady at the traffic lights, waiting to cross the road picking her husbands spots. What is it about picking spots in public? Its rank!

So far I am maybe giving the impression that I don't like living in shanghai as all I seem to do is complain. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE living here despite the few wierd and unusual things that occur. They just make it all the more interesting and entertaining. Shanghai is an amazing city to be in. It changes constantly and is a very exciting place to be at the moment, especially with the Expo coming here in May. There are so many great bars and restaurants here and there are more appearing all the time.

Shanghai is a mixture of big, high rise modern buildings and small tree lined streets with low rise old buildings and lanes with traditional housing. Very much of the life of people living in these areas is done out on the streets. You will often see men sat around playing cards or chinese checkers. There are tea sets out on tables and local restaurants often have tables or often cook outside. People wash their hair outisde in the lanes as they don't have bathrooms and in the summer you quite often see people sleeping outside as its cooler to do that then sleep in the houses. Its a very sociable life for the locals and quite often whole families live together. I love walking past and having a nosey at what they are doing. I just wish I could understand them better!

Monday morning and bad china days....

Its Monday morning. And its raining. Even though I don't work I still get the Monday morning blues and the sunday night back to school feeling which is wierd really. Anyway today is yoga followed by cakes with the girls this afternoon to celebrate a birthday! Oh and I guess I should do some studying...am so good at falling behind :(

So good weekend although yesterday I had a definate case of a bad china day. A bad china day really exists...my doctor even asked me once if I was having one. Its something us expats experience from time to time and can stem from a number of reasons. Mine yesterday involved having a small strop at the waitress. I told her I didn't want any bacon with my breakfast but to swap it for sausage...sounds simple enough eh?? Don't ever go off menu here. It causes no end of confusion. She kept telling me that the bacon came with the breakfast and I would have to pay for the sausage.

My second little strop came later where a woman came out of a shop, no concept of what was around her and proceeded to walk into me. A little shove soon sorted her out. Now to everyone reading this (all 4 of you) that might not sound like much and maybe I was overreacting. No. As a rule the chinese have NO concept of personal space and whats around them. They constantly walk into you. They never look what is around them. They will stop dead in the street and if you are close to them you will literally fall over them. They stop in the most incovenient places such as at the top of an escalator causing everyone else who is behind them and trying to get off the escalator to crash right into them. If you try and get past them in the street they somehow subconsciously know and wander to the side on which you are trying to pass them. And don't even get me started on the girls walking down the street arm in arm..3 of them. You will end up on the road...don't ever expect them to break their line!!!

So why else would you have a bad china day? Oh there are a number of reasons a few I shall mention.

1) Queuing. It doesn't exisit. Be preapred for them to just come and jump right in front of you and look surprised when you tell them you are first. I am twice the size of them...how can they miss me?
2) Trying to cross the road. You take your life into our own hands crossing the roads here. It may be on a green man but it doesn't necessarily mean you have right of way. The cars going straight will cross but forget about the ones turning the corner. You just have to walk straight and determined and never look them in the eye and hope they stop. At least the bicycles and the mopeds can drive round you.
3) Being beeped to get out the way by a moped when you are on the pavement. I so need to learn the words for 'The pavement is for pedestrians...get on the fecking road'.
4) Laughing at you when they are wrong. This is down to loss of face. If they do something wrong or don't know anything, instead of saying sorry or admitting they don't know, they laugh as they are embarassed. You have no idea how annoying that can be.

This final thing guaranteed to put me in a bad mood are taxis. Now taxis are dirt cheap here and quite often the most convenient way to travel depending on where you live. However trying to get a taxi in the rain is a nightmare!!! And don't get me started on trying to get one on a Friday night especially in the rain. Its like a total bun fight trying for taxis. I have flagged one down, gotten into the back seat, at the same time a little old lady has appeared from nowhere and hopped in the front seat. I did make her get out. And when they see you trying to flag one down and stand more or less right in front of you and flag one down first....its enough to make even the calmest person's hackles rise. My personal favourite was a stand off between me and two friends in the back of the taxi and a greek guy in the front. He was an arse and we had to get out but not after we told him exactly what we thought of him!!

Now don't get me wrong I love living in china and most of the time these things amuse me but if you wake up in a slightly bad mood....then the best thing to do is stay home with the duvet over your head!!!!

too tired to write...

Am feeling very fragile today after one too many wines in the pub last night. Decided to try out a new bar that has just opened, the camel bar. It was great. A tv screen in the mens loos so no missing out on any sporting action. In the girls loos? Chup a chup lollies. What more could you ask for when knocking back copious amounts of wine? Some free nachos wouldn't have gone amiss.

So am not feeling on top form today though have been on a little trip to the dark side. Shanghai divided into two by the Huang Pu river. One side is the old part of town where I live called Puxi and the other side is Pudong a.k.a the dark side. Its amazing as 20 years ago pudong was rice fields, now its home to skyscrapers, the tallest building in shanghai and is the hub of the business world. Anyway we went over to have lunch with friends. Lunch was great...service crap as usual. Soup and pizza come at the same time..no concept of starters and mains.

So my funny tale of today. We went back to our friends appartment for a gossip and out the window we could see two women walking their dogs. My pal told me to keep an eye on them. The dog sat down to do its daily abolutions. It was a dulux type dog. The woman then pulled out a plastic bag, straddled the dog and proceeded to wipe its bum...is this normal??????????????/

So am now home under my blanket on the sofa deciding whether to go out to the pub to watch the rugby. With the time difference the England match doesn't start until 1am...mmm may be asleep by then.

Cxx

A beautiful sunny day in shangers...

Wow...its a great day outside. Warm and Sunny. About 22 deg which is unbelievable seeing as it was snowing 3 days ago...well attempting to. So been out and about this afternoon. Nearly put my flip flops on but thought it was too early even for me. However, everyone else is wrapped up like it's the middle of winter still. What is wrong with these people? At the nail place (yes I am a typical expat in that I have my nails done), they had the heating on!!!!!!!!! I was chuffing baking.
Anyway couple of funny sights on my walk including a man who had put a load of laundry type bags filled full of stuff together on the street and was having a little afternoon snooze on them. I have even seen people alseep on bikes here which is not an easy thing I shouldn't imagine!
Anyway nails look great. In the taxi back I had a singing driver even though the radio wasn't on, and he was tapping his foot in time to the music in his head. Marvellous. Got back home to a great delivery off the best sister in the world, some chocolate for easter.Fabulous! And I love the fact she always tells me that its for Dave too :). The security guard, who insists on calling me Miss C Moss all the time, also told me I am 'much thin since January'. I think he was trying to tell me I had lost weight! Bless!
I haven't just had my nails done today. It was a treat after my hard core yoga hour. I have a teacher come to my house who puts me through my paces. Its hell..but a great feeling afterwards. Never realised how flexible I actually was. Although she puzzles me the way she always asks 'What is wrong?' after I have collapsed because I can not physically hold that position anymore and my legs/arms are shaking and I think I am going to vomit. She then makes me do it all again. My security guard thought she was my chinese teacher so I have to demonstrate a yoga move as I had no idea what the word was in chinese. The power of body language.
So anywas last night I was out for dinner with my great friend Jakub. Pizza followed by a trip to donut king. Pizza was immense. Donut king was lovely...happily scoffing away until the girl next to us started to pick her boyfriends spots. In public!!!!!!!!!!! Bleurgh. And then she decided to examine inside his ears. And this is considered ok here. Well if they spit on the streets whats a bit of spot picking amongst friends.

Ha ha...am blogging....

Oh my god...I am wiriting a blog...not really sure why...I think I was inspired after watching Julie and Julia last night..although unlike the character I am definately not going to be cooking over 500 recipes in one year...you are lucky if I cook one recipe in a year.

So greetings from shanghai. Not really sure anyone will read this blog and can't believe its taken me 4.5 years of being in shanghai to start one. It could be crap...it could be good...it certainly won't be every day..maybe just when I have some funny stories to tell about life in shanghai as an expat with no work (thats why I am still sat here in my dressing gown at 11.30 on a tuesday morning). Of course my first problem writing this blog is that I couldn't actually access the website...its banned here...the joys of living here is access to certain internet sites is limited. However using a sneaky little tool that tricks my computer into thinking its in the UK...here I am...However often I write it will certainly be about the strange love/hate relationship I have with this city.

Am guessing it will mainly be my pals that read this and you know all about me. If there are any strangers reading this...as you have guessed I have been living in shanghai since Oct 2005...I came over here with my bloke jobs...however I have been lucky enough to not work (not totally my choice..some of the reasons are out of my control, becauses I am not chinese, because of visa, because I don't want to teach etc etc) since I arrived and am therefore know as a 'tai tai' which basically means housewife in chinese...I have an Msc so never intended to become a housewife. Life as a tai tai basically entails sitting around drinking coffee with my pals...its just the way it is....although to be fair its not just drinking coffee...tea too :))))

The above is not true. I am actually quite busy most days. Its actually quite easy to keep busy here if you dont work as everything takes twice as long to do....you sometimes have to visit 3 different supermarkets to buy the ingredients for one nights dinner...no asda or tesco (as we know it...ignore what Piers Morgan said on his programme) here. We do have carrefour but that is one huge bun fight often with MASSIVE trollies that you can not steer for toffee and if you are perusing the goods on the shelf and have dared to leave a small gap between you and them..someone will come and stand in it..oh and they are quite fond of looking in our trollies to see what the 'laowei' are buying. You need to enter carrefour in a suit of body armour and the patience of an extremely saintly saint. There will be pushing and shoving and maybe tears. When you go to a shop say to buy some tylenol (no panadol here) you go to the counter, explain badly want you want, they then give you a hand written receipt for it, you then have to go to another counter to use the till to pay for it, she will then give you another receipt which you take back to the original person and ta da..you get your tylenol...twice as long as going to boots.

So back to how I fill my days...shopping that takes twice as long although I forgot to mention that we have M and S now with a small food hall which is my saving grace. Ok so there is charity work that we do, learning chinese although I gave that up...twice...I couldnt hear the tones and was convinced I was swearing at them the whole time although I am excellet at shopping chinese.SHopping is of course one of THE things to do here if you are a tai tai.....it is certainly fake/knock off central here and my handbag collection has grown profusely while I have been here...everyone knows about it...it all goes on..there are even big markets and 'secret' shops dedicated to it but more about shopping at a later date I think.

The main thing I do to keep myself occupied is I have gone back to school...welll OU...at the age of 36 I am still a student!!!!!!! Quite embarassing really but it keeps my brain ticking over and I wierdly quite enjoy doing it. Probably because there are no exams :)))

Anyway I really do need to get out of my dressing gown and start the day...well the afternoon...
Bye for now
Cxxx